My Lily: Narcissa's story
by HufflepuffWitch
Summary: FEMSLASH: Narcissa/Lily Ootp spoilers! Narcissa POV, Narcissa's longing for Lily, Narcissa hides the fact that she is betrothed to Lucius Malfoy When Lily finds out she is angry and heartbroken she duels Narcissa hitting her with an ancient spell
1. Love exposed

**Disclamer: I own nothing. All characters and places belong to the wonderfully talented (and rich) author J.K Rowling**  
  
You were free, free to make your own choices, free to be yourself, free to love whom ever you choose. I was not. I envied you for your freedom. I wanted more than life it's self to be free of the path my mother had set for me since before I was born.  
  
I watched you silently throughout our first year in Hogwarts, so young, so innocent, so beautiful. I waited for my chance to confront you, it was not easy I dare say. You from Gryffendor and I a Slytherin, but our meeting did take place. I wanted so desperately to let down my mask and show you the real me and become your friend but I could not, for fear my mother would find out.  
  
You didn't care. You became my friend anyway, no matter how many harsh words I said to you, you wouldn't give up. I loved you even more for that.  
  
As we were nearing our sixth year, news had come of my eldest sister Andromeda had run of and gotten married. Mother was furious. I silently cheered for Andromeda when she ran off with that Muggle-Born whom captured her heart. She hated me for not sticking up to mother, for she knew that someone, not Lucius, had captured my heart. I wanted so much to share with my sister my love for the one I could not have. But out of fear I did as my mother ordered and cut off contact with my beloved sister.  
  
I gained a small bit of courage with my sisters triumph over our mother, and began to open up to you a bit more giving you glimpses of the real me. You were overjoyed, your eyes would sparkle and dance as we talked. It was Christmas Eve, I shall never forget, when your soft silky lips first touched mine.  
  
The majority of the school had returned home for the holidays, the castle was practically empty. I stayed at school with the excuse of homework but the reality was it wouldn't be truly Christmas at home if Andromeda wasn't there. You had stayed at Hogwarts too. You say because your elder sister Petunia taunts you for being a witch. I have a sudden eurge protect you and to smack some sense into your sister.  
  
You giggled softly as you wrapped your arms around my neck and touched your lips to mine. I was shocked but kissed back softly. When you broke the kiss, I smiled at you and you smiled back. "I wanted to tell you Cissia, I wanted to tell you my feelings since I first laid eyes on you but you seemed so distant..." I was speechless at your confession of feelings for me. I just held you staring in to those shimmering pools of emerald green. Until finally I found my voice once again.  
  
"I love you Lily Evans." I whispered as I leaned down and kissed you this time more passionately. My hands slid down to your hips and up under the muggle sweater you wore. As my hand crept closer to your luscious breasts, you broke the kiss stopping me in my tracks. "What is it Lil?" I asked fearfully.  
  
"Nothing Cissia, I just don't think the library is the place to do this..." you replied. I nodded my agreement. "Lets go up to the astronomy tower tonight after dark so we won't be disturbed." you suggested. I thought about this. "Why don't you come with me to my prefect dorm. It's much warmer than the tower and no one but me has the password to my room." Your eyes answered for you as their emerald depths clouded over with a mix of lust and love. I took you by the hand and led you to my room.  
  
**A/N: What do you think so far? Please review!!** 


	2. Lies, curses and unexpected news

A/N: Sorry about the spelling errors in the first chapter it was late and I was half asleep. Oh yeah and I forgot to mention this story has Ootp spoilers. Thank you Jessica Potter5 for being my first reviewer for this story! 

When I awoke early that Christmas morn I felt an instant pang of guilt, how could I have let this relationship blossom knowing that it could not last? Knowing that I am promised to a man that I despise? I looked over at your sleeping form longingly, silently wishing that I could change everything so that we could be together forever. Without warning my eyes filled with tears and I lay sobbing in to the emerald silk of my pillow.

"Cissa? Baby, what's wrong?"

I heard you whisper as your hand reached out to caress my cheek. Sniffling I replied, "Nothing, it's nothing love. Go back to sleep."

"I don't believe you," my Lily replied as her percing emerald eyes met my water filled blue, "Please tell me Narcissa."

"Lily I can't hurt you, I should of never let this happen between us..." I started, sighing heavily.

"Why?" "Because it won't last, It can't last. Lily I'm betrothed to Lucius Malfoy." I blurted out. I heard her gasp and cover her face with her hands probably to hide the tears filling those beautiful green orbs. "I'm sorry..." I whispered to her as she grabbed her robe. "Please forgive me..."

"Narcissa Evelyn Black You want me to forgive you!" Lily cried. "Why should I?"

I winced at the bitterness of her voice, I knew Lily Evans was not one to be double crossed. "I'm sorry Lily..." was all I could manage to say.

"You're sorry? Is that suppose to make everything all better? Is it suppose to make me forget you lied to me, that you seduced me?" I was completely frozen, all I could do was just stand there. "I hate you Narcissa Black I don't ever want to see your fucking face again!" Lily screamed as she slammed the door behind her.

"Merry Christmas..." I murmered.

It wasn't until classes resumed that I finally saw Lily again. She looked like nothing had happened until caught me staring at her from across the room in Transfiguration. I saw the fire spark in her eyes, she was still angrywith me. I sighed and looked away.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. I didn't see Lily again until supper in the Great Hall, where she again caught me staring at her. This time she did something unexpected, she along with my cousin Sirius, and James Potter walked over to the Slytherin table where I was sitting next to my betrothed Lucius.

"What do you want?" Lucius sneered at Potter.

"Nothing, but I believe Lily has a bone to pick with you." James said as he pointed to me.

"Get up Bitch!" Lily yelled.

"Lily please don't do this..." I cried. "Draw you wand Narcissa."

"What is the meaning of this?" Lucius asked.

"It's none of your concern, Lucius. Stay out of it!" I replied. Drawing my wand I stood in dueling stance, contemplating my first move. "Stupify!" I cried. Lily blocked it and yelled a curse I've never heard of before.

"Ingravesco gravida!"

Bright bluish green sparks flew towards me, hitting me in my stomach causing me to double over in pain. Lucius and Severus were at my side in an instant, both throwing spells in Lily's direction which were blocked by Sirius and James.

The next thing I knew I was in the hospital wing, and so were Lucius and Severus. I watched as Madam McKaiden fussed over a very aggravated Lucius. I snickered softly.

"Ahh Ms. Black you're awake!" the elderly mediwitch called. "How do you feel?"

"Yes ma'am and I feel fine."

"That's good considering your condition."

"My condition?" I replied remembering the weird curse I was hit with. "Ma'am what was that curse I was hit with?"

"Kids these days I just don't know where they learn these spells... I'm gonna have to tell the headmaster to keep tighter security on the restricted section of the library..." Madam McKaiden muttered.

"Ma'am what was that curse I was hit with?" I repeated.

"Hmm? Oh yes, the ingravesco gravida curse. It's an old old spell that was used in cases of infertility."

"Infertility?" I looked at her confused.

"Yes, anyone hit with this spell would become pregnant by whom ever cast the spell. I highly doubt Ms. Evans knew what this spell was..."

I gasped, "T-this means I'm pregnant!"

"I'm afraid so."


	3. The Wrath of Lucius

A dull thud was heard from behind the curtin next to Narcissa's bed.  
  
Lucius had heard everything and was passed out on the floor.  
  
"Oh dear," Madam Mckaiden cried as she pulled out her wand to levitate  
  
him back into his bed.  
  
"Madam Mckaiden" I called when she finished with Lucius.  
  
"Yes dear?"  
  
"What else do you know about this spell?"  
  
"I've told you everything I know about it, but I could ask the headmaster."  
  
"Would you? Thank you ma'am."  
  
With that I settled down in my bed and tried to sleep. When I awoke the Madam  
  
Mckaiden had left an old scroll on my bed side table.  
  
I unraveled the scroll and began to read.  
  
'The ingravesco gravida curse is a very powerful spell. But it is to be used  
  
with extreme caution. For anyone, Male or Female, that is hit with this spell  
  
will become pregnant. The pregnancy will be just as any other except  
  
that it is permanent. The use of any aborting spells or potions will not work and  
  
may harm the person carring the child. The pregnancy will last just like all others  
  
aproximentlly nine months.......'  
  
I gasped staring at the scroll, just as Lucius entered the room.  
  
"Everything is going to be all right Narcissa, I just came back from Professor Modric.  
  
He has make you a potion to get rid of this pregnancy." Lucius said in an unusually  
  
cheerful voice.  
  
"Thank you for your concern Lucius, but the potion won't work."  
  
"What do you mean it won't work? Professor Modric is an expert potions master!"  
  
"I know but according to this scroll Madam Mckaiden gave me, aborting spells or potions  
  
won't work. They'll just  
  
cause me harm." I sighed looking down at my hands. Lucius was shaking violently in anger,  
  
my head snapped up as I heard the sound of glass breaking. Lucius had crushed the vial in his bare hand.  
  
"Lucius calm down. It's not the end of the world, okay? So don't do anything rash,  
  
I really don't want the whole school to know and I don't think you do either!"  
  
"I knew you two were sleeping together!!!" Lucius cried.  
  
"What?! Lucius what in the world are you talking about?"  
  
"You and that mudblood! You two probably staged this whole thing just so  
  
you could get me to break the betrothal!!!"  
  
"Lucius... that's not true..."  
  
"Silence wench! I will not stand for anymore of your lies! Your nasty little plan  
  
backfired Narcissa. We will be wed and there is nothing you can do to stop it!!!"  
  
*~*A/N: What do you think? Is Lucius a little more in-character now? Please review!!!*~* 


	4. Narcissa's plan

"Miss Evans, I most certain you know the reason you are here, correct?"  
  
called Professor Dumbledore from behind his desk.  
  
"Yes sir." replied Lily.  
  
"Then I am sure you know that you will be receiving punishment for attacking  
  
another student..."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Since your record prior to this incident is clean, I see no reason to expel you."  
  
Dumbledore started.  
  
Lily sighed," Thank you sir."  
  
"However you will serve detention with Professor Modric for one month, and  
  
your pass to the restricted section will be revoked."  
  
"Yes sir, Thank you for your kindness."  
  
Dumbledore nodded, "Now I don't want to see this happen again Miss Evans,  
  
You are dismissed."  
  
Lily smiled brightly and ran out of the headmaster's office bumping into James and  
  
Sirius, whom were waiting for her.  
  
"So how'd it go?" asked James.  
  
"You didn't get expelled did you?" asked Sirius.  
  
"No I only got a months worth of detention with the Slytherin head, Professor Modric  
  
and my pass to the restricted section of the library taken away."  
  
"Is that all?! See Prongs I told ya there was nothing to worry about!" cried Sirus.  
  
"Aww stuff it Padfoot, I knew she'd be ok!" snorted James as they escorted Lily back  
  
to the Gryffindor common room.  
  
Meanwhile back in the Hospital wing, Narcissa sat crying in her bed.  
  
"What am I going to do? How am I going to tell my family? What is Lucius going to  
  
do with my baby?" thought Narcissa.  
  
"You are going to do nothing Narcissa." growled a voice from the door. "And as for telling  
  
your family there will be no need, for you see once this accident is born it will be  
  
adopted and none will be the wiser."  
  
"But Lucius... can't we raise this child as our own?" whispered Narcissa.  
  
"Absolutly not! I will not raise a bastard child!" Lucius cried."I have already arranged for  
  
a few of the house elves to assist you, and since you are Head Girl and have your  
  
own room there should be no problems."  
  
"Thank you Lucius."  
  
"You are welcome." With that Lucius left the hospital wing.  
  
Narcissa sighed, "I will not give this baby up! No matter how it was conceived it is still  
  
my child! But how can I get Lucius to change his mind?" Then suddenly she had an idea,  
  
Lucius had told her not to tell her parents but that was exactly what she had planned to do.  
  
Once her mother and father learned they were soon to be grandparents they would  
  
never allow their grandchild to be taken away. Even if Lucius told them the truth  
  
about how her child was really conceived they would never believe him over  
  
their own daughter.  
  
With a little smirk Narcissa began to write a letter to her parents. 


	5. Mother daughter talks and woman scorned

~*A/N~ A little over a month has passed since Narcissa sent her parents the letter*~  
  
"Cissa!" cried Francine Black as her daughter entered Le Café Magique, a small cafe in hogsmead exclusivily for the  
  
upper class. Francine greatly resimbald her daughter, both had crystal blue eyes, high cheek bones and fair flawless  
  
complexions. The only real difference was Melinda's deep chocolate brown hair.  
  
"Mother!" Narcissa replied as she hugged her mother.  
  
"How are you darling?"  
  
"I'm fine mother, where's father?" Narcissa asked as she sat down at the table.  
  
"He couldn't make it.... business reasons." Francine replied in a slightly hushed voice. "So what was so important  
  
dear?"  
  
"Well mother," Narcissa started. "It's not easy to explane."  
  
"You know you can tell me anything dear."  
  
"Well Lucius and I have been dating, and we've really hit it off so to speak."  
  
"Oh Cissa that's wonderful news! I was hoping you would accept you betrothal to him. That Lucius is so handsom."  
  
"Well that's not really the news I had to tell you, you see over the christmas holiday we, slept together."  
  
"I knew you two would hit it off. He's just so handsom, almost reminds me of your father. Except, of course your father  
  
had jet black hair...." Francine rambled.  
  
"I'm pregnant." Narcissa whispered as her mother continued to ramble on about Lucius Malfoy. "Mother did you hear  
  
me?"  
  
"I'm sorry dear, what did you say?"  
  
"I said I'm pregnant."  
  
Francine's eyes grew wide, "Oh dear, how far along are you? Does Lucius know?"  
  
"I'm about five weeks along, and yes Lucius knows. He wants me to abort it." Narcissa replied with false tears welling  
  
up in her eyes. "I can't do it mama, please don't make me murder your first grandchild."  
  
"Abort it! I'll hear nothing of the sort. Fear not my daughter, I shall talk to your father. I'm sure Dimitrius would love to  
  
hear what his future son-in-law wants to do to his first grandchild." Francine replied.  
  
"Oh thank you mother!" Narcissa cried as she tearfully hugged her mother.  
  
"Now dry your eyes dear all this saddness and stress isn't good for the baby."  
  
"Yes mother."  
  
"I want you to go back to school and rest. I'll come with you and talk to the headmaster and the school nurse about  
  
your condition. I want my daughter and my grandchild well taken care of." With that mother and daughter left the cafe  
  
and were off to the school.  
  
Back at Hogwarts, James and Lily were playing a game of wizards chess.  
  
"I wouldn't do that." Lily murmmerd as James moved his queen side bishop.  
  
"And why not?"  
  
"Because..." Lily started as she moved her queen in to place."Check mate"  
  
"Wha? How'd you do that?" James cried as Sirius walked into the common room.  
  
"Aww Prongsie did she beat you again?" Sirius teased.  
  
"Stuff it Sirius!" James yelled. Sirius just laughed.  
  
"Hey Lil I've been meaning to ask you something."  
  
"What is it Siri?" Lily replied.  
  
"What was that spell you hit my cousin with?" Sirius asked curiously.  
  
Lily smiled an evil smile, sending chill down Sirius's spine. "It was and infirtility curse, she will never beable to bare  
  
children."  
  
"Ouch! I guess that muggle saying is true..." muttered Sirius after Lily went up to her room.  
  
"What muggle saying Padfoot?" James asked.  
  
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."  
  
~*A/N~ I know this chappy is a little short but I hadta get somethings outta the way. Next chappy should be longer, Don't forget to review! Come on you know you wanna! Go on click that little purplish blue button at the bottom left of your screen!*~ 


	6. Weddings, Truth and Babies

~*A/N~ Graduation is nearing, as well as Narcissa's wedding to Lucius. Narcissa is now about 3 1/2 months pregnant and is starting to show slightly  
  


* * *

  
Narcissa sat anxiously on the hospital bed her hand resting protectively on her growing tummy, as she waited for the  
  
mediwitch to come in to the room.  
  
"Are you ready Ms. Black?" asked Madam Mckaiden.  
  
"Y-yes ma'am" Narcissa stuttered slightly. The mediwitch just smiled, all first time moms are nervous when they find out  
  
the gender of their baby.  
  
"Now just lie back and relax, this won't hurt a bit." the mediwitch instructed calmly. As soon as Narcissa was ready the  
  
mediwitch cast a spell over her growing belly which produced a magical ultrasound image in the air above her belly.  
  
Although this wasn't the first time Narcissa had seen an ultrasound image of her baby, tears began to well up in her eyes  
  
at the beauty of this accidental gift her first true love had given her.  
  
Madam Mckaiden smiled at Narcissa before interrupting the silence, "She's beautiful isn't she?"  
  
"Yes she is." Narcissa replied. Madam Mckaiden smiled again at realization dawned over her patient. "It's a girl?! I'm  
  
having a girl?!"  
  
"Yes, yes you are my dear."  
  
Narcissa could barely believe it as she lay there waiting for Madam Mckaiden to return.  
  
"Well well what do we have here?" called a voice from the door.  
  
Startled Narcissa turned to see to whom the voice belonged, "What do you want Evans?"  
  
"Nothing from you Black, or should I say Malfoy..." Lily smirked at Narcissa's glare. "I'm here to get a headache potion  
  
for James."  
  
"Here it is Ms. Black, 101 Magical Baby Names for Girls." called the mediwitch as he entered the room oblivious to  
  
Lily's presence. "Now you must think carefully about naming this little one, I have a feeling she is going to be very  
  
special. Not to mention she is the first child conceived with the ingravesco gravida curse in nearly over a century."  
  
Lily stared at the mediwitch, her mind racing to process the information she just heard."Ummm... Madam Mckaiden did  
  
you just say the ingravesco gravida curse?"  
  
The mediwitch turned toward Lily with a pained expression and sighed heavily before replying, "That I did dear."  
  
"But... but... I cast that curse on Narcissa... It was suppose to make her infertile... Not pregnant." Lily stuttered.  
  
"You tried to make me infertile?!" Narcissa screamed at Lily.  
  
"Yes you Slytherin wench! You used me!" Lily screamed back.  
  
Before Narcissa could retaliate Madam McKaiden intervened. "Now girls! That is enough of this yelling. Ms. Black you  
  
should know better, stress is not good for the baby. As for you Ms. Evans why were you here in the first place?"  
  
"I was here to get a headache potion for James, he and Sirius were wrestling and James bonked his head on the bed  
  
post."  
  
"Those boys it will be a miracle if they make it to graduation." the mediwitch mumbled as she got the potion from the  
  
cabinet and handed it to Lily. Lily thanked her and made her way to the door.  
  
"Lily, wait." Narcissa called. "We really need to talk."  
  
"What is there to talk about? I promise you Narcissa, I want nothing to do with that baby. I'm too young to be  
  
someone's mother, and besides you are getting married in less than a month." Lily sighed and left the hospital wing  
  
before Narcissa could respond.  
  
"How could she do this to me? I'm pregnant with her child and she rejects me again! She acts like I want to be married  
  
to Lucius! I don't! All I want, all I've ever wanted is her!" that was all Narcissa could get out before her emotions took  
  
hold and she cried her self to sleep.  
  
Graduation was over school had released for summer holidays and Narcissa sat in her dressing room primping with her  
  
brides maids getting ready for her wedding. Posey Bulstrode was fixing her hair as Bernadette Zambini did her makeup.  
  
Through it all, all Narcissa could think about was Lily. Oh how she wished after Lily found out about the baby she  
  
would beg Narcissa to leave Lucius and they could run away together. They would raise their daughter with out any  
  
taint of pureblood nonsense and live happily ever after.  
  
But no Lily held true to her promise, her constant glares in classes and in the great hall stopped, it was almost as if Lily  
  
even forgot she existed. Now Narcissa has no choice but to marry Lucius, if she ran away now she would be  
  
abandoned and penniless to raise her daughter alone. 'No I must do what is best for my daughter now, if I stay with  
  
Lucius my baby will be well financially cared for. I'm going to be a mother now, it's no longer about what I want.'  
  
Narcissa scolded herself.  
  
"Narcissa," Posey called in her annoying sing song voice, pulling Narcissa out of her thoughts. "It's time to go out there,  
  
your fiancé is waiting." Narcissa nodded solemnly and plastered on her emotionless mask. The wedding went on  
  
without any problems as did the honeymoon.  
  
Life after the wedding fell into a boring routine, they would have breakfast together in the morning, then Lucius would  
  
leave for work and Narcissa was free to do as she pleased so long as she stayed in the manor.  
  
The summer went on and soon it would be autumn. Most days Narcissa busied herself with the nursery decorating it  
  
with the finest baby supplies she could get. Narcissa already had a name chosen for her daughter and Lucius had told  
  
her since it was a girl she could name it. Many of the pillows and blanket in her daughter's room were embroidered with  
  
the name. Bianca Lillian Malfoy. That would be her daughter's name.  
  
August wore on as did September soon October came around and Narcissa was ready to get the birth over with.  
  
Lucius was away on a 'business' trip, since it was so close to the due date Narcissa stayed at Hogwarts so Madam  
  
Mckaiden could monitor her.  
  
It was the night before Halloween and Narcissa was on her way back to the infirmary from the kitchens when she saw  
  
them. Lily and someone she couldn't tell whom kissing in the corridor. Narcissa quietly crept closer to see who the other  
  
person was. It was definitely male, Narcissa instantly thought Sirius or James, but there was something more mysterious  
  
about this man to be one of them two. Narcissa tried to get closer careful to stay in the shadows when she saw it, it was  
  
just a flash but Narcissa knew those colors instantly. The man Lily is with is in slytherin, "Oh my goddess" Narcissa  
  
gasped as realization came over her.  
  
"Who's there!" growled the man with Lily. "Show yourself!"  
  
"Well well I would have never thought dear old Sevvie would snog a muggle born." whispered Narcissa as she stepped  
  
out of the shadows.  
  
"Narcissa?!" they both cried at once. "What are you doing here?" Lily asked first.  
  
"I'm staying here with my mediwitch till Bianca is born." Narcissa replied as she rubbed her belly.  
  
"Bianca, that's a pretty name" Lilly whispered softly. Narcissa nodded.  
  
"You can't tell anyone about this Cissa, especially not Lucius." Snape stated.  
  
"Of course Sevvie..." Narcissa replied calmly, "On one condition  
  


* * *

  
"What's that?"  
  
"You help me get back to the infirmary very fast."  
  
"Sure, why so fast though?"  
  
"Because Bianca is ready now!" Narcissa cried as the first contraction hit her.  
  
Snape and Lily quickly helped Narcissa back to the infirmary, as soon as they got there Mme Mckaiden helped lie  
  
Narcissa on the bed and shooed Severus out Lily became her assistant in the birth.  
  
About two hours later as the clock struck midnight Bianca Lillian was born. She weighed 5 lbs and 7 oz. Lily was awe  
  
struck at seeing the little baby she caused to be. Her heart poured out love for the baby and Narcissa but she knew it  
  
was too late to turn back now. Severus needed her and in her own way she truely loved him. With a tear in her eye Lily  
  
handed Bianca to her mother and kissed narcissa loveingly on the forehead. "Now you take care of your momma now  
  
Binks, I love you both."  
  
"I love you too Lily, I always have."  
  
"I know that now Cissa." Lily said as she left the room. And that was the last time Narcissa saw Lily.  
  
The End  
  
~*A/N: you never know there might be a sequal in the works about Binks's days in Hogwarts and when she finds out about her other mother who died on her 2nd birthday.... what do you think? review or email me with your comments windfire84@yahoo.com.*~ 


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